The Dick Sits Card Game

“The Dick Sits” is quite possibly the most outrageous card game ever! Are you ready to embark on a horny and insatiable adventure as a BUTT?

Given the holy quest to become the ultimate conqueror by sitting on all the DICKS in the land… Earn your position at the top by stretching your hole to the maximum and sitting on more than your fellow players!

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Gameplay in action

Step 1

Draw a Dick (if no Dick is visible) and Choose Sit or Sh*t

When it’s your turn, if no Dick is visible, draw a Dick card. After that, you have a choice to make. Will you Sit or Sh*t? The fate of your butt rest in your hands!

Step 2

If Sitting

If you choose to Sit, get ready for the glorious moment of pushing the dice into the Glory Hole or Dice Tower (in the Deluxe Edition). Slide the box/tower to the next player, building anticipation for the outcome. But wait, there’s more!

Everyone May Now Play Their Drawer Cards: Now it’s time for some strategic manoeuvers. All players can play their Drawer Cards, adding a twist to the outcome. Will you help yourself or hinder your opponents? The choice is yours!

Step 3

Reveal the Dice

Calculate Stretch Value: The moment of truth has arrived. Lift the box and reveal the dice result. Add the result to your Stretch Value, taking into account any modifiers caused by the Drawer Cards in play. Will your stretching skills measure up to the challenge?

Sit Success: If your dice result is equal to or higher than the Dickficulty, rejoice! Your Sit is successful, and greatness awaits. Gain 1 Stretch Value, score a point, and bask in the glory of sitting on that victorious dick!

Sit Failure: If the total result is lower than the Dickficulty, your Sit is deemed unsuccessful. Lose 1 Stretch Value, as your stretching skills take a temporary setback. The Dick remains, ready to taunt the next player who dares to sit upon it. It’s a reminder that not all stretches end in triumph.

Step 4

Anal Tear Alert: The Perils of Dice Rolling

Beware the treacherous roll of the Dice! If you happen to roll a 6, an Anal Tear awaits you. This unfortunate event leads to spend your energies in recovery and you’ll miss out on Recharging (step 6). Remember, even in the world of “Dick Sits,” stretching has its risks.

Step 5

If Sh**ing

Sh**ing Strategies: When the Dick is too big and intimidating (or any other reason), players can decide to Sh*t instead of Sit on the Dick. You’re relieved of your sitting duties while things get cleaned up.

Discard all visible Dicks on the table and Recharge (Step 6) your hand up to 5 cards instead of the usual 4 at the end of your turn.

Step 6

Recharge

To wrap up the turn, players replenish their options. First, they can decide if they’d like to discard a Drawer Card they no longer wish to hold before topping up their hand until they have 4 Drawer Cards (or 5 if they Sh*t in their turn).

Now’s the moment to strategize and plan for the next round of stretching adventures.

The Dick Sits Merchandise

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Want to know more?

  • How to play

    Check out our how to play videos or download the latest rulebook to see gameplay in more detail

    How to Play 

  • More visuals?

    Check out the gallery for more images of the game in action!

    The Dick Sits Gallery 

  • More questions?

    We've compiled a whole bunch of Frequently Asked Questions that should give you all the information you're looking for

    To the FAQs